lokifan_import

Sorry about the lack of posting! I’ve been extremely stressed lately, and it’s kind of impacting my ability to keep up with things. Nothing immensely serious stressing me, I suppose, it’s just coming at me from a lot of directions: money and a job search, courses and essays, bills to pay, family stuff, fest deadlines... added together, it all messes with me a lot. Shame about the comprehensive fail at NaBloPoMo, and at keeping up with the flist, but I need to handle all this stuff first. I actually had two failure dreams, one after the other, the other night, which almost never happens to me.

One was about my cat Smudge dying because I’d brought him to uni with me and hadn’t taken care of him, which was especially upsetting because my other cat, Rupert, actually had to be put down, very unexpectedly, about a week after I got to uni. I was the only member of the family who didn’t see him first, which I’m still upset about. Nobody made me or anything, but... My dad came home from a conference, and I just think it makes no sense, when I was the one who spent most time with them followed by my mum, and we gave them pills when they needed them. I might not be my mum’s partner but I’m her oldest daughter, and my dad never liked Rupert much at all. I should have seen him and been there.

Anyway. I wrote a much longer version of this post and cried when I got to the Rupert bit. I’m not now, which I think shows improvement in my mental state! Really I just want to say hi and try to purge my angst this way – if I don’t, like most writers I’ll deal through writing, and then my fest fics will go all UNEXPECTED ANGST.

But! I will be fine. See my Bring It On!Xander icon. :)

Love you, guys! *smooches* And there will be filthy porn soon!