Not feeling my best

[lokifan_import]

Have you ever planned to write a scenario, or an idea - nothing immensely specific but you knew vaguely what you wanted to do - and someone got there first?

Now on one level, you're very pleased. It's well written and it's cute, it's exactly the sort of thing you would have done but different, and almost certainly better than anything you could have come up with. You're busy, besides, and have other things to get to first; you would have kept rejecting it as too fanon or not urgent for at least another couple of months. She's done it now, and it's great. You're enjoying it a lot. Really.

And still, despite the fact that it's selfish and stupid and makes no sense, you sort of want to sulk because damnit, I had ideas and I wanted to write it myself!

Am I the only one?

Don't get me wrong. The story I'm thinking of is extremely cute and I have faith it will be very well done. I just wanted to do it myself.

Argh. This is probably all misplaced aggression and depression after fighting with my parents. It makes me itchy, though, and uncomfortable with myself. I'm used to righteous rage and this is sulking.

Comments

[blindmouse.livejournal.com]

Have you ever planned to write a scenario, or an idea - nothing immensely specific but you knew vaguely what you wanted to do - and someone got there first?

Mm. No, never, but I have vague and constant paranoia about it. And of course you're going to feel miffed - that's a story that you already owned, in your mind, that you'll never get to write. That's tragic.

(Hm. Actually, JKR did use a minor plot device in Deathly Hallows I'd used in my WIP, which put me out slightly :-) Although I kept it anyway, and just looked unoriginal.)

[lokifan]

Nice to feel validated! I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I've worried about it before a couple of times, but it's never actually happened until now.

that's a story that you already owned, in your mind

That's it exactly. Which I think is part of why it bugs me; it's this unspecified annoyance, because it feels like it was stolen but it quite obviously wasn't.

JKR did use a minor plot device in Deathly Hallows I'd used in my WIP

Obviously she nicked it from you, by magic. You're not unoriginal at all - just look at The If Sieve, which I have read three chapters of and loved.

Oh, damnit. Now I have all this TBR guilt crashing down. the sequel to The Lies of Locke Lamora has been on my bedside table for a month, and I can't even look at the number of bookmarks I have waiting.

[blindmouse.livejournal.com]

Heh. I decided a few months back that I wasn't going to feel TBR guilt. I have a bookshelf full of books I've bought or been given or got free from work, and I was beginning to feel as though they were going to smother me. But I've decided now that they are brilliant, because no matter what I feel like reading, there'll be something there :-) Ditto with Delicious links.

[iwantasoda.livejournal.com]

-smothers you in love and runs off-

[lokifan]

Aww, lookit the icon! I feel speshul.

Plus I get to thank you for the "drive-by love", possibly the best phrase ever.

[enchanted-jae.livejournal.com]

OMGoodness, yes! I've had that happen, and it makes me want to kick myself for not writing the idea when I first had it. Aargh! I agree that when it's happened, the other author has done a spectacular job, perhaps better than I would have done myself, but there is always that little pang of envy that I didn't do it when I first thought of, because if I do it now, it will seem like a rip off. Foo.

[lokifan]

Exactly! I do feel quite a lot better that I'm not the only one, though.

[soul-bound-8686.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. *is curious about the fic of which you speak*

[lokifan]

Umm... Yeah, have a link. I'm sort of used to thinking "must not tell!" but it's not like I'm criticising the fic!

It's byaghro's catboy!Draco fic. Basically I wanted to give Draco ears and a tail, and write very silly, hopefully funny, probably plotless fic about how he's adorable and he does cat things. Mainly I wanted to make him outraged, so his tail would puff, and make Harry say "aww!"

...In years to come, I may decide it's a good thing I never got round to writing it...

[soul-bound-8686.livejournal.com]

lol! I'm intrigued now. Will have to go check that one out...

[lokifan]

It's very, very cute. I recommend reading it right after horrible, angsty drabbles by mean writers who make you sad. :d

[soul-bound-8686.livejournal.com]

Ooh! Even better! Those blasted mean authors... *grumbles*