This is not a sparkletext day

[lokifan_import]

So, I won't be writing for hd_holidays after all. The mods rescinded my assignment because I've bailed on too many fests. Which is totally fair and my own fault, so I'm not annoyed at all. But of course this being my own fault seems to make it worse rather than better.

I feel kind of stupid for being this upset. But I am :( I was really excited when I got my assignment and already emailing people and making notes and trying to fit the porny idea with the plotty idea. And then there was a new email :((

Oh well. At least there's always reading and seeing the art, which is always so good. And I'm going to keep the file with my fic idea. I really do like the idea, so I might go back to it in a bit when I feel less squished.

Now I must go and leave some prompts at mini_fest. The winter fest season goes on!! And hey, I've always wanted to write for Kinky Kristmas over at daily_deviant, and now I won't have fest fic to worry about so I can sign up! *stiffens upper lip*

PS: apologies for the emo. But I thought I really had to post considering I already told you all I was doing hols! And I am too headachey and emo for the dignified approach.

Soon I will feel better: using Thor!angst as my icon is a calculated decision, because Chris Hemsworth's face just makes me want to smile.

Comments

[brinimc.livejournal.com]

Aw man, I'm sorry. That sucks. :/

[lokifan]

Thanks, darling. Ah well.

[talekayler.livejournal.com]

Aww, I'm sorry hon. :( At least there are a tonne of other fests going on! Also, I really like this layout!

[lokifan]

Thanks, love. I don't know if I'll sign up for another fest - I am bad at them, which is why this happened! I thought about this for a while, if I was sure I wanted to and would definitely be in early. So I might do another fest but it would take some thinking about - I wanted to do hd_holidays specifically :(

The layout makes me so happy :DDD

[drarryxlover.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry, that's kind of shitty.

[lokifan]

*hugs back* The icon is ADORABLE :) And I'll get over it, tonight is just my Emo Night. (Soon there will be shuffley dancing to My Chemical Romance.)

[iwantasoda.livejournal.com]

I know I've been pretty MIA lately when it comes to commenting, but I can't stand to see a sad post and not comment!

-gives you lots of hugs- ♥ ♥

And have this! It always amuses me!

[lokifan]

Aww. No more MIA than me! And I do appreciate it, lovely :)

THAT GIF MAKES ALL THINGS BETTER.

[ginger-veela.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

[lokifan]

*hugs back. pervily*

[secretsolitaire.livejournal.com]

Wow, why would they not have checked that sort of thing before sending out the assignments if that was their criteria? :-(

Sorry, hon. *hugs*

[kaalee.livejournal.com]

I was wondering that, too. :(

and to loki: I'm really sorry. You seem like you're really trying to make the best of it, though. ♥ *lots of love*

[nimielle.livejournal.com]

Oh Honey, I am so sorry! *snuggles fiercely* And to find out this late. *clings*

♥

[lokifan]

Thanks, lovely :( And yeah, if I'd just not been put into the lottery it would've been less disappointing. But never mind.

*clings back*

[ragdoll.livejournal.com]

Okay, that just sucks beyond all reason. And if you've never bailed on *their* fest, then really, they have a lot of chutzpah doing that. I'm so sorry, doll.

You are more than welcome to pick up a prompt over at Kinky Kristmas. We'll have you. ♥

[lokifan]

Thanks, lovely. *shrugs* It's in their rules, so I'm not pissed off. But yeah, I do wish this had 'come to their attention' pre-assignment send-out.

LOL. This made me smile at my computer :DD Thanks!! That does make me feel better, actually, even though I'm not sure I'll be doing KK.

[sesheta-66.livejournal.com]

*squishes*

[lokifan]

*squishes you back* :)

[catbirdfish.livejournal.com]

:( It sucks they decided this after they gave you your assignment. I hope you eventually return to your idea, though. And I'd be thrilled to read whatever you come up with for Kinky Kristmas!

[lokifan]

Yeah. :( I mean, I think it was totally fair on their part, but I am still a sad panda.

D'aww. *blushes* I would genuinely love to do a Kinky Kristmas fic, so I'll have to see if anything seems inspiring once the prompts go up in September.

[literaryspell.livejournal.com]

Oh god, that sucks. I know any disappointment at not getting in in the first place would fucking pale next to that. :(:( *hugs* Don't give up on the fic, though!

[lokifan]

Thanks, lovely. And yeah, it is extra disappointing. Especially because it's sort of embarrassing to do the emo post but I also can't just not say anything having already been all YAY I AM IN.

*hugs back* I won't! I am definitely keeping that file on the hard drive :)

[koishii-hime.livejournal.com]

:C Aw, I'm so sorry. *hugs* Though I agree it's kind of irresponsible on their part to not check before hand, and to do all this after they give you your assignment and everything. /shakesfist

[lokifan]

*hugs back* Thanks, lovely. I think it's just what they have to do - they can't check everyone, there are too many people who try for it, and I do see why they feel the need to be able to rescind assignments. But yeah, I do wish it had happened in the last week at least rather than after I got my assignment :(

[thepretender501.livejournal.com]

*hugs* You were very dignified in expressing your feelings <3 I'm sorry that this happened bb but I look forward to reading what you do for Kinky Kristmas and the other holiday fests.

[lokifan]

Aww, thanks lovely :) That is much appreciated, feeling as silly as I do! And thanks. I'm not sure I'm doing any fests yet - I'd decided that this was going to be my one sign-up, so I could focus on it, and I'll have to think about doing any more. But I am definitely going to think about Kinky Kristmas!

[enchanted-jae.livejournal.com]

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

[lokifan]

:DDD This makes me SO HAPPY. Particularly since right now I have a cat on my lap. And he is making me feel better :)

[ebilgatoloco.livejournal.com]

-hugs-

[lokifan]

*hugs you back*

Can I just say, one of the great compensations of having cause to do an emo post is the hug!icons my flist brings? You guys win at hug!icons.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Poor Loki! But you will have time for reading instead, which will be great! (I still think the rejects comm was funny. I know that makes me evil, but meh, I'll cope! (Wonder if there's any baby left in the fridge?))

[lokifan]

Thanks! And yes, I will, which considering my massive reading!fail lately is arguably a blessing. (LOL. I think it was wanky but sort of funny. *joins you for a baby tipple* Still not joining, though.)

[woldy]

I'm sorry to hear that. *hugs*

I understand where the mods are coming from, but it really sucks to have it rescinded. It would be psychologically easier not to be given the assignment, I'd have thought.

It would be great to have you in Kinky Kristmas and there's always the option of my little femslash exchange :-D

[lokifan]

*hugs back*

Yes. Exactly.

Awww. I will see! I do like the idea of your femmeslash exchange, but I always feel under more pressure writing femmeslash (because I myself judge lack of realism, which I don't with slash). Will have to see :)

[dysonrules.livejournal.com]

Sorry, bebe! I feel like we murdered a kitten. :((((((((

It didn't come up until your assigned gifter mentioned that she was kind of afraid to write for you because you had a history of bailing. This was after we had already been dealing with a record number of people demanding reassignment because of this or that reason, so all of us mods are already on the edge of madness and assignments have been out for ONE DAY.

Sorry if it seems mega-harsh. If it's any consolation, we are all stressed out beyond reason and we still get to deal with these issues for another four months!

*clings*

[anna-unfolding.livejournal.com]

It must be stressful to run something so high profile. You guys should be free to say to demanding re-assigners, or people who share concern about their giftee's history, that you simply can not cater to their requests. That you do your best to approve people, and everyone at this point can roll with what they have, risks and all. You, the mods, already did your work in assessing ppl and doling out assignments. For example, I don't understand why the concern of one participant would overrule what YOU, the MODS, approved of in the first place.

I am sure many ppl have really legit concerns about their prompts, and I realize sometimes you have to re-work things, but you should not have to cater to every demand, leaving you totally stressed for 4 months. That's crazy. Everyone who writes for a gift fest knows there is a chance something will go wrong with their giftee. It's a risk everyone has, regardless of who they are writing for.

I feel for you mods in this situation, and I feel for Lok, and I wish there were a way for you to tell people I HEAR YOU; I SEE WHY YOU'D WANT TO CHANGE/REASSIGN/WHATEVER. BUT WHAT'S DONE IS DONE, WE ARE NOT TAKING ON THE STRESS OF CHANGING THINGS NOW.

Good luck in the next months! I am looking fwd to the fest too.

And hugs, Lok. Hey, let's have a My Chem dance party together!! Want some fic recs??? :)

[cyn-ful.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I still love you. Maybe that will help. Maybe not...but maybe it will.

[cyn-ful.livejournal.com]

and maybe...after reading above response...Maybe they will need a pinch hitter and you can go in and show them what you are made of (even though they know you are super awesome) ... maybe have a plot or two ready to run and go..

[ships-harry.livejournal.com]

Oh, *ow* for a take-back instead of a never-was D: - that does suck. I would certainly be miserable in that situation.

(this reads as very dignified emo, for what it's worth <3)

[lokifan]

Yeah, quite :(

(that's actually worth a lot, thank you :) It's always hard to tell yourself if you're being justifiably sad or just very whiny!)

[nenne.livejournal.com]

Does this mean you won't get to do hols ever again? I am sorry you're feeling down about this. Knowing it is your own fault must make it worse, I can see that. *hugs you*

[lokifan]

I never have participated in hols :( Not sure if doing better would make it possible to do so next year, I asked but they didn't address that part of the email, I guess because it would be a bit case-by-case. Fingers crossed, though. And thanks :) *hugs you back*

[ariadneelda.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, dear, this sucks. :( They really should have done their check before sending out assignments. Ideally, before even the lottery.

And I agree with people, your approach doesn't seem undignified to me at all. *hugs*

[lokifan]

Thanks! And I guess, but there are just too many people. Apparently the person meant to write for me said 'er, she bails a lot, I am nervous'. ;_;

Thank you, that is very nice to hear! *hugs you back*

[melusinahp.livejournal.com]

Love to you, B. I'm sorry it was handled this way. Can I suggest you write something, complete it and then offer it up as a pinch hit? That might go some way towards improving your rep for next year.

Hugs and hugs. Love you. And it would still be really awesome to see some longer H/D from you.

[meredyth-13.livejournal.com]

I think this is an awesome idea.

And yeah, that must have been hard - but it's good to see you being stoic, and hopefully the muse will still carry you forward.

*smooches*

[klashfor.livejournal.com]

What the fuck?!? That's so ridiculous. Why invite someone then kick them out?! I'm irrationally annoyed over this. You should write it anyway then post it to all the H/D comms and put in the summary that this SHOULD have been part of the fest. Fucks sake.

[lokifan]

LOL. I love this comment :) I actually do sympathise with the mods - they had a hellish time with dropouts last year - but I won't lie, the write-it-anyway-then-be-slightly-passive-aggressive idea had occurred to me :)

[moonflower-rose.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear that hun :(

[lokifan]

Thanks. I hope your assignment was everything you wanted!!