Con drop and porn

[lokifan_import]

You might be getting comments from me on old entries for a bit; I’m trying to catch up. On the other hand, maybe not; I need to have finished my Hamlet notes by this weekend.

Con drop, I has it. I was meant to be doing training – it got cancelled randomly; apparently the hotel took a different booking while the union was faffing about. I’m now revising instead. Only the others aren’t here and CON-DROPPING LIKE IT’S HOT. Argh.

Inspired by a conversation with son_of_darkness:

Do you identify with characters you read, particularly in porn? Kye says he does, which is why femmeslash doesn’t work for him even though he likes the ladies – there’s no place for him when it’s all girlsex. By contrast, I very rarely identify with characters – when I read femmeslash, it’s the exact same relationship I have with slash. I suppose I sometimes identify with subs if there’s something specific there that echoes my own feelings rather precisely, but that’s not bound by gender and rarely happens anyway.

What about you? I’d be especially interested to hear from those of you who read both slash and femmeslash or het (or vice versa) – if there’s someone of your gender there, do you identify with them? In kinkfic, do you identify with the dom(me) or sub according to your preferences? *nosy face*

Comments

[girlofavalon.livejournal.com]

you seem pretty comfortable identifying as a woman

I must agree that it's short-sighted. Where did you get this idea from?

I don't identify with all characters I read, but I identify with some, and not only in porn. And most of the times I identify better with a male character.

[lokifan]

Now that I think about it, I'm not sure. I guess because your default icon is a woman, you mention lots of personal stuff but not gender stuff that I've seen, etc - nothing big, but lots of little stuff, if that makes sense? Do feel free to correct me! I mean, I did actually want to ask about your gender identity at the start of this post, but I thought that was rather cheeky!

Gotcha. :)

[girlofavalon.livejournal.com]

My journal started first to follow fandom, than became kind of my self-therapy, hence I post lots of personal stuff, and yes my default icon is my favourite female celebrity. I am a major fan of Keira Knightley because she's amazing IMO.

In truth, I hate being a woman, but what else can I do.

Not sure what you mean by gender issues, you mean like you post sometimes, like some of my friends post. Well, you all are rather better informed than I am, partially because I have severe OCD and I am very anxious, and it eats all my brains to be as well informed as I used to be before my OCD was flared out.

Besides, I've had a complicated background, and just now I have really started to know myself, something I should've done ages before.

Back to my indentity, I've been questioning it a lot, and I seriously get pissed off when I complain that I don't like being a woman and someone comes with thse argument that I like to dress up. Yes, I like to dress up and I like make-up. I adore it. So what? Seriously, this is how people are trying to convince me that I am a perfect woman? Way to go...

It wouldn't be cheeky, and I've been reading and researching a lot. I am a genderqueer, though I do prefer men over women as partners.

I'm not bothered by gender pronouns, though. They're the least I. personally, should worry about. And I don't want to have a gender reassignment surgery either, it wouldn't help much.

[lokifan]

Okay, gotcha. I didn't say 'gender issues' so I'm not sure you mean specifically. :S

Oh dear, that sounds lame. Dressing up /= being a woman. Thanks for giving me such a detailed reply. And I'm sure it'll get easier as time goes on - working stuff out about ourselves is always hard, but you're being totes pro-active about it. :)

[girlofavalon.livejournal.com]

Haha... Don't worry. I thought you had, but what you said was gender stuff. I actually meant issues = stuff *headdesk*

And I just noticed that my previous comment went with some major typos :( I meant it eats my brains not to be as well informed as I used to be before my OCD was flared out.

I used to be super savvy, I used to discover brilliant sites, one day I would probably have been able to reach what I now only reach thank to other people. Nowadays, I am nearly incapable of googling something because I'll just stare at the results on the screen, too afraid to click anything because I don't want to get my desktop infected :( Basically, if there isn't a Wikipedia article in the results, it takes me a lot of effor to click anything else.

Yeah, and this misconception is really sad =/ He he :) I am being totes pro-active. Unfortunatelly, my country doesn't seem to recognize queers as a whole. You're either gay, lesbian, bissexual, trangender or something that is not quite an Ally, but find gays super cool =/

So, it's even harder, since classifications like genderqueer etc. only seem to exist in English. Bta, would you have any reading to reccomend me on Queer Theory? ;)

[lokifan]

:) No worries - there's just such a wide breadth of stuff me/the flist post about that could go under the heading 'gender issues' - feminism, binary, sexuality, etc - that I thought I should check!

:( Very difficult.

*sighs* The whole category and concept of queerness is a difficult one; going to the National Union of Students' LGBT conference really brought this home to me.

Not just now - am far from the university library. ;) I might be able to check my favourites again once I'm back, though!

[girlofavalon.livejournal.com]

I am still waiting for the recs, dear ;)

[girlofavalon.livejournal.com]

Now I realised my comment must've sounded harsh, it was not my intention. I think I just vented a lot on you.

[lokifan]

Nah, it didn't. It sounded like a queer person getting frustrated, which I'm used to and do myself ALL THE TIME. *hugs you*

[girlofavalon.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you understood, not that I was expecting any different *hugs back*